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The Colbert Report/Episode/528
Production Info |- |} |- |} Intro SEGMENT1 * Dr. Colbert calms His Mob down to save their energy for things he * he's enraged ** AIG is giving execs $165-million in bonuses *** in ways we can't see, in for things we don't understand * abrogate ** using a word when no one can afford a dictionary * we need to be a torch and pitchfork wielding mob! * Dr. Colbert wonders who could lead this mob, and his mob starts a chant of "Colbert, Colbert!" * There is a contract ** if he succeeds, he gets $165 million * pitchfork holder beneath the C-Desk SEGMENT2 * judge finally threw Bernie Madoff in jail * one scam artist got off free ** Franklin DeHussein Roosevelt * many pundits saw FDR's treachery * massive government spending * wrote an article entitled "Wasting Away in Hooverville" (in the new issue of The New Republic) * Jonathan Chait * book: "Big Con: Crackpot Economics and the Fleecing of America" * New Deal prolonged the depression * Chait is implying conservatives are rewriting history ** which is a good idea because we should rewrite the history of slavery * during the Great Depression, New Deal ameliorated people's misery ** everyone's except the rich * Keynesian Economics * he was unable to name one thing the New Deal did * none of the jobs FDR created were permanent ** no one is still working them * he suggested that America build ships and throw them into the ocean ** Stephen believes this is a bad idea SEGMENT3 * another pitchfork wielding patriot is Governor Mark Sanford (of South Carolina) * savior-based economy ** we would only need one loaf * Sanford wants to use the stimulus money * Dr. Colbert is outraged, and demands South Carolina secede (again) * encore presentation of Better Know A Governor ** with Mark Sanford Interview * Neil Gaiman * book: "The Graveyard Book" * author of The Graveyard Book, which is fitting because Stephen will bury him! * pre-chewed bone to pick regarding the book * opening line of his children's book ** "There was a hand in the darkness and it held a knife" * he claims all children's fiction contains an element of danger ** he used Peter Cottontail as an example * the moral of the book is dead people are nice ** life is worth living, it has meaning * there is a danger children will no longer be afraid of graveyards * how dead people raise children ** they have no teats *** he cheated: a vampire lives in the graveyard, who goes out at night * he's making it all up (regarding the dead people) * there are people on the other side of Dr. Colbert's perception * Gaiman loved HP Lovecraft & JRR Tolkein * he has an accent ** doesn't sound America *** he is originally from England * his book won a Newberry Award ** taking it from an American writer * re-let the cat out of the bag about Stephen's book * Gaiman recommended Art Speigleman as an American illustrator Epilogue * Dr. Colbert wishes he could hug everyone of his heroes Gallery Image: Image:PitchforkWieldingColbert.jpg Image: Image: Image: Image: Image: Image: Official Truthy Videos * Colbert Nation Home Tube External Tubes *Link Title *Link Title Reviews and Comments